There's some of that on the female side too, except generally I push for asking if we're gonna meet because no one is getting laid if we never meet and it's like, this awkward shuffle of "does she want me to take her out on a date? Tbh all I want is to cuddle, be distracted from how homesick I am and the person I walked away from to be here, and to have a back and forth conversation about anything, and if I have to give a blowjob to do that, okay. I don't know that that's a relationship or a friendship, but that's what I want.
Now happily engaged, but a few years back I bit the bullet and joined OKCupid because it seemed to be how it was done these days. I was living down in Santa Cruz at the time. Had my own place, a job, a car and I mean, I consider myself an excellent first date in general but my confidence shot through the roof, enough so that when I first met my fiancee at a friend's wedding, I took a big cut and knocked it out of the park. So yeah I guess my advice is go down to Santa Cruz where most of the guys are either losers or live on top of 5 other dudes.
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Makes you look like Lord Fucking Byron in comparison. My buddy moved to Tahoe and he said the same thing. The girls up their threw themselves at him because they were like "wow, you're not an opiate addict, you don't have 3 kids from 2 different women AND you have a stable job that isn't a seasonable job in tourism or entertainment industry???? He wifed up this gorgeous ER doctor chick and they bought a nice house, both ski and hike all the time and travel tons.
I think he won at life. Hell yeah. I found a 6 foot Jewish chick with big tits and a six figure job. I had to have blacked out and sold my soul to the Devil at some point. Its kind of what you make of it. For the most part I realized that cold approaching and stuff like that doesn't work as well as other places. Cause if you are in the city chances are you don't live there, and saying "Want to go back to my place" and having to drive min to East Bay kinda ruins the whole thing.
You have to become friends with the person first without friend-zoning yourself.
I feel dating here is more like, can we tolerate each other for more than 30 min at a time as friends? Cool next step or you get friend-zoned. My SF colleagues are mostly single straight men. They all say the same thing Thank god im in a relationship. I have been working on an offline dinner dating idea https: It seems like women are more into the idea although everybody keeps saying this is Manfrancisco.
I agree with your work colleagues complaints. I found in NYC the girls at least dressed up, were feminine, tried to impress you and were interesting to talk with. Yeah they could be stuck up but at least were worth your efforts. Here it's just lesbian tech clones in funky glasses with butch haircuts and pink hair streaks in giant clodhopper sneakers and a snarky t-shirt stretched too tight over their beer gut acting like they're all that.
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Pass, thanks. I miss nyc women.
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Yeah it's kind of like everyone who's only ever lived in SF gets butthurt when people say negative things about it because they are basically living in Plato's allegory of the cave- they don't know how bad they have it here because they have no other high-functioning urban metro area as context to compare it to. Step outside the cave, dudes Social media is cancer.
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My coworkers are addicted to tinder and line up many dates a week but seem to not know themselves enough to know how to be happy, they cycle through guys like lance Armstrong. Anyhow, one of my friends is very rich, is kinda chubby, but his insta is filled with pictures of his huge home, Lamborghini, etc. Guy legit had Tinder matches he was sifting through this weekend! The dating scene in Denver was really good to me. Seemed like the only thing people cared about was having a good time, drinking good beer, and being down to Earth.
Instagram however Kinda makes sense why it'd be weird not to have it. Even your rich friend is a great example of having Instagram. Imo, Instagram is really good at showing your personality in a moment's glance: People do take time looking at your Instagram before making a decision to swipe - really. It allows them to be picky.
It does sound vein, but I enjoy Instagram. Lets me convey intent in pictures and share it to Facebook since I hate writing stuff on Facebook. Ugh insta is cancerous, getting about as bad as FB. Hope you can find people who will take the time to know you without some staged photographs.
As someone that's looking for a serious relationship, it's pretty miserable. If I'm not getting ghosted, I'm meeting people who are only interested in open or poly relationships. I'm a gay man living in Vallejo, it seems to me that the bridge is a hard line barrier to most people. As soon as they find out I live and work in Vallejo area they disappear.
Where I came from, it was nothing to drive minutes to see someone for a date but we were far and few between. Other than that I didn't go out and seek a partner due to my own shyness and internet made that easier. I was upfront about what I wanted and the best you can do sadly is hope whoever you're meeting are doing the same. It definitely sucks but it's worth it if you can find the right person!
Where you live is definitely within the Bay Area is a factor. In my experience, girls in SF do not want to date a guy outside of the city, unless maybe they work in East Bay and are willing to expand to there or something along those lines. People are welcome to their preferences and many don't have cars, but some people can be over the top with it.
If you're tall, you'll want to list your height. This most recent time currently monogamous with a great girl I met on Bumble , it seemed like they cared more about height than literally anything else non-height looks, career, interest One girl I chatted with unmatched when I told her I'm 5'8''. It's rough out there, but even this most recent run was not too different in terms of making connections than when I was in Philadelphia, just a little more discouraging.
Last two GFs have been from here. Not sure what use this anecdotal information is for you, but that's my experience. I honestly don't know. I think in general, guys are willing to put up with much more hassle to find a good match, tho. An attractive girl will get so many matches that she can be more picky about location. Sorry to hear that. Have you tried meeting in the middle somewhere?
Of course, that's only gonna work for so long It is an hour from SF, but they should also already know where you are on bumble or at least know it's far from SF on tinder. Odd to swipe right if you don't think it will work logistically. I'm male and in a happy serious relationship now but it took me over 4 years of online dating to meet my gf and during those 4 years prior I lived in 2 countries and 3 major cities. Out of all that I've met maybe 7 or 8 people in person only and just a date or two with each.
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In SF alone I've only ever met 3 people in person likely because I spent the most time here. Generally speaking with online dating most people are flakey or ghost sometimes even before meeting them in person. I've had great essay length messaging conversations with people and then they just disappear without a trace. In SF in particular I just felt even more ignored than usual. Of all three major cities I've lived in I had it the hardest here.
Lots of people with high standards and very little time. I'm also rather short and a minority, which probably doesn't help. Unfortunately, I've seen women put this on their profile "What do you call a guy who is shorter than 5'11"? Pretty shitty. I can tell you that after 4 years of failure with online dating it changes the way you think about it. You can get super tainted or demoralized.
What's dating in the Bay Area like for you? : bayarea
One thing to remember is to not let it fester in your mind too much. Over time I cared less about matching and that made me so much happier without that stress on my mind. Even more so when I finally deleted the apps but that's because I finally met someone. But what happened was I transitioned into a mentality of just letting whatever happen happen.