How you present yourself on the shelf can make all the difference between snagging your dream lover or enjoying 15 minutes of fame. Here's how you can turn around your online dating luck.
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Marketing yourself online isn't just about you, but who you want to attract. Majority of men on the net browse around aimlessly, not knowing what they are looking for; waiting for an ambiguous Mr. Right to message them.
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Of course, we're all seeking a good man, but what kind of man? The idea of "hot" is always in the eye of the mouse clicker. Is your ideal guy short, of average build with a love for theatre or is he a nature buff of medium height and slim frame? Even if you can visualize your ideal mate in your head, it's a good idea to draw him on paper. Make a list of his qualities and don't limit yourself to physical attributes- personality traits and details about his lifestyle is he out, closeted, curious are very important. You can be very specific "My guy is 28 years old" or you can use ranges "My guy is between 28 and 34 years old".
This may seem like an exercise in vain, especially when you could be using those valuable minutes browsing through profiles, but knowing exactly what you want gives you focus and sends a positive message of who you'd like to attract. Have you ever wondered how some of these online guys come up with their screen names?
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I'm always baffled by the funny spellings and the creative phrases they use, especially while I'm staring at my monitor trying to come up with an eight letter word that will live with me the entire time I'm on the site. Rest assured, you don't need to come up with an award-winning screen name to attract attention. Often times I use a favorite song title or a word from my favorite movie- something that will spark interest or prompt other hopeless romantics to look at my profile.
Screen names are like billboard headlines, which invite others to at least check out the product. Online, I've found that the more abstract the screen name, the more guys will message me and ask questions, which ultimately leads to a conversation- the best way to assess a match. Keep in mind, screen names can also be a deterrent. So think about the image you want to present. A name like "lookn4luv" is more likely to attract the romantic types than "easystevie".
Even the goriest of movies never show the most graphic scene on the DVD cover. They leave something to mystery, plus they don't want to scare potential viewers away. A man who values an intellectual thriller is not likely to rent a movie with exposed intestine on the cover. Keep the intrigue by saving the details until you and your dream man are intimate for the first time. Show a little chest or even a leg, but if you wouldn't show it in public don't show it online. By keeping your pics on the PG or R-rated scale you're showing your suitor that you're about more than just about sex.
Graphic shots may get more quantity, but it's the quality of man you're looking for. Profile headlines can be a vehicle to attract the man you want, but they can also serve as the first line of defense against the man you don't. Think of your headline as an expanded version of your marketing screen name. Use this space usually characters long to describe your interests or the interests you desire in a man. Elaborate on where your screen name originates or try giving a catchy intro to who you are as a person. Come find out! The first example is likely to attract a guy that's into travel like you are while the second shows your prospect that you are open to dating.
Use your ad section as just that- an ad! You have a short amount of space to show your personality and call your dream guy to action. Now that your catchy screen name and headline attracted a guy, clinch the deal with your ad text.
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Use the list you made earlier to help you write about your interests, including what you like and dislike in a man. You can mention your education, hobbies, or quirky personality traits. If you're a witty guy, give them a little taste. If you're the more reserved type, say so. I'm more attracted to a guy who's told me a little about himself more than one that is vague or leaves too much to wonder. How intriguing is it for a writer to find out that someone loves fiction or for a sci-fi movie lover to discover that someone has the entire Star Wars collection?
These details may seem out of place for sites known for quick hookups, but relationship-oriented guys browse these sites too and your purpose is to find a date or long-term relationship which is about compatibility on levels beyond the physical. Most online profiles ask for your age, body type, ethnicity, eye color, hair color, and height among other things.
Be as specific as possible within your comfort zone, but never lie. Have you ever ordered something from a catalog and looked nothing like the picture in the brochure? Even the romantic who digs your winning personality over your physical features will see fibbing as an issue of trust.
You may not be able to grace the cover of Men's Health , but if there is anything I've learned in the gay game is that someone actually many people will find you hot! One of the most important things in a relationship that keeps it alive and makes it work is the goals that you share. Imagine that you want to build a strong and long-lasting relationship that would go on for years, you wish for a partner that would be your real soulmate, and you start building a family with him.
Would a relationship with such a man work out? Surely not. If you have to sacrifice some of your principles or views, then it will be hard for you to feel good in this romantic relationship. Hence, look carefully who you date and think where it can lead in advance. Thinking about the future of your relationship is a nice idea, and discussing the views and goals honestly with your date is even better. A lot of people say that opposites attract.
Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves? | HuffPost
But is that so? You may agree and find this idea appealing in some way. Sure, it is wonderful to meet a man who is totally different from you. Harmonious couples develop together , and so you will need to have a man who can share your worldview by your side. A rapid development of a romantic relationship is a common thing nowadays, and gay men often do that too. They even move together quite fast, and that might be their mistake. However, there is a catch you need to pay attention to.
Studying the behavior of your partner and knowing his habits is a vital step in a relationship. Anybody can tell that the household is a huge part of your life, so if you would have some misunderstandings there, it may cause the problems. Try to notice the basic things your man regularly does, get used to his habits.
Why Do Gay Men Make Dating So Hard For Themselves?
Arrange your everyday routine the way you both like it. That would be a wise decision that can save you from making a big mistake. We are just humans, and we pay attention to what the others look like, no matter how hard we try to put their personality traits first. But if you are only concentrated on the way a man looks, it is your big mistake. Some like it when all their gay partners are of the same kind for instance, blonde hair and muscular fit body.
Some simply want the guys they date to dress in a particular way. If you are focused on this thing only, you are unlikely to build a strong and healthy relationship. Sure, everybody wants their partner to be attractive, but when you pay too much attention to the looks, you miss some more important things like worldview and life goals. Gay men dating can go wrong for you if you always choose the same type of appearance. Luckily, today we have the best gay dating sites which offer you a great variety of male profiles. There is a big chance that you would be happy with your choice and discover something new for yourself.
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